If your child struggles in school, someone might suggest educational therapy. But what is educational therapy? And how can it help kids with learning and attention issues?
Here’s what you need to know.
What Is Educational Therapy?
Educational therapy is a general term for when an educator works one-on-one with your child, typically outside of school. This can cover a lot. It could mean a reading specialist who works with kids with ADHD. Or a counselor who helps kids learn study and organization skills.
If educational therapy sounds very broad, that’s because it is. There isn’t a strict definition of educational therapy. And there is no state licensing for educational therapists. This makes it different from more specialized areas like occupational therapy.
Educational therapy isn’t the same as tutoring. Traditional tutors focus on academics. Educational therapists use a broader approach. And educational therapists may have more experience working with kids with learning and attention issues.
For example, if your child has dyscalculia and math anxiety, a tutor might practice math problems over and over. An educational therapist, on the other hand, might see that your child struggles with number sense. She might teach your child strategies for recognizing basic number facts, or suggest accommodations. She might also teach your child coping skills for anxiety.
Educational therapists help build your child’s academic skills and self-confidence. The work they do can be quite varied. And they come from a wide range of professional backgrounds. They may be:
Educational therapists tend to specialize in one or more areas. It’s common, for instance, to have therapists who focus on multisensory reading instruction. Some also work with students of a certain age, like grade-schoolers. Sometimes, they work with kids who have a specific issue, like ADHD.
How Educational Therapy Can Help Kids With Learning and Attention Issues?
Since your child goes to school, it may not be clear to you why you’d need to work with an educational therapist, too. After all, schools are supposed to teach kids academics. And kids with IEP or 504 plans often have special education services to help them in school.
The answer is that the instruction at school may not be enough for your child. There also may be a lack of understanding of your child’s issues. Or the school may not be helping your child with a specific skill, like studying or writing papers.
In these cases, you may want to supplement with outside services. A traditional tutor may not understand your child’s learning and attention issues. A professional like a doctor or a psychologist isn’t trained to meet academic needs. An educational therapist can fill the gap.
Educational therapists teach skills and strategies that help kids manage their issues and improve their schoolwork. They can help kids with almost any learning or attention issue.
The specific strategies and treatments used by an educational therapist will vary. It depends on your child’s issues. Here are just a few examples of what therapists may do:
An educational therapist can also act as a case manager. The therapist can help coordinate with tutors, specialists and teachers.
Educational therapists can also review services the school is providing through an IEP or a 504 plan. They can help ensure that what’s happening outside of school complements in-school services.
A qualified educational therapist will:
Alexis Clark is a freelance editor for Understood and an adjunct professor at Columbia Journalism School.
Ellen Braaten, Ph.D., is the director of LEAP and co-director of the Clay Center for Young Healthy Minds, both at Massachusetts General Hospital.860
Many parents choose to use a special education advocate to support them in getting what their children need in special education. Nonlawyer advocates do not have a license to practice law, and they are not attorneys. They provide their services according to the laws of their state. Advocates are often professionals with training in special education and advocacy. They may or may not charge fees for their services. (COPAA uses the terms "special education advocate" and "advocate" to refer to individuals who advocate for parents and families, but are not attorneys.)
Select a trained, experienced advocate.
Unlike attorneys, no certification authority exists to certify advocates at this time. However, many special education advocates have years of experience and training. When you interview an advocate, you should ask about their education and training. You should also ask whether the advocate stays current in the field by getting updated training and education through workshops, conferences, and continuing education programs. Do not hesitate to ask for references from the advocate. You are the one making the hiring decision.
Select an advocate with special education experience.
Experienced advocates can often help you obtain the educational services your child needs. Advocates may have specific skills and knowledge about evaluations, various disabilities, IEPs and other educational negotiations, behavioral supports and discipline, document management, fact investigations, and other areas. They may have alternative dispute resolution skills, such as mediation and facilitation skills. Advocates should be familiar with the local service providers, evaluators, local school districts and the options they offer, and local customs. They should know and understand IDEA and other laws/regulations affecting the education of students with disabilities. Ask your advocate about his or her experience and specific skills. You need to be an informed consumer and ask the questions that are important to you.
Select an advocate who understands your child.
You should expect an advocate to spend time visiting with your child. Each child is a unique human being and has individual educational needs. Your advocate should be able to explain to you how your child's disability will affect him or her at school. Advocates are not diagnosticians and they are not education evaluators. But, a working knowledge of your child's disability, or a willingness to become educated about your child's disability, is a quality a good advocate should have.
Advocates and attorneys.
Nonlawyer advocates are not attorneys or members of the bar. Some advocates and paralegals are supervised by attorneys. Some work in forms or with public interest organizations. Others work independently in their own offices. You can ask an advocate if they work with an attorney. But, it is not necessary that a lawyer oversee an advocate, or that an advocate even have a relationship with an attorney. Many experienced advocates work completely on their own or with other advocates who are not licensed attorneys. You should decide what you want in an advocate and what kind of assistance you need.
Select an advocate who understands his or her professional limits.
Professional advocates may give you legal information and help you negotiate and resolve disputes. But, they are not lawyers, and cannot give you the same type of legal advice as attorneys or act as your lawyer. An experienced, well-trained advocate should help you recognize when you should seek an attorney's services. Should your next step be a due process hearing, you should check your state laws regarding assistance from an advocate. In some states, nonlawyer advocates can represent parents in administrative due process hearings. In others, they cannot, and may only assist the parents. An advocate cannot represent you in state or federal court. If you are contemplating due process, you and your advocate should discuss your case. You should think about whether you need to hire an attorney based on your individual situation and needs and the laws of your state. Ultimately, it is your responsibility to make this decision and you should make the decision you believe is most appropriate.
Other questions you might ask.
Here are some questions you might ask as you decide whether to hire an advocate.
Parents play a vital role in every special education matter. Advocates can give you advice and opinions based upon their training and experience, but you--the parent--must make all of the final decisions about your child. After meeting with the advocate ask yourself if you:
Reproduced from :
The Council of Parent Attorneys and Advocates, Inc. offer these suggestions as a public service to parents of children with disabilities. They are not intended as legal advice or a legal opinion. The COPAA Guidelines incorporate some information based in part on information published by the Illinois Attorney General's office.
These are five warning signs you may have crossed the line, and what to do about it. It’s never too late to change bad patterns.
BY BRYNN BURGER
Parenting is a hard gig; we all know and accept that. But sometime in the last few decades, we also started to accept the idea that parents will mess up their kids in ways that require a lifetime of therapy. It’s time to be the parenting generation that changes all that, and starts raising kids who don’t have to recover from their childhoods as adults.
Raising an extreme child is enough to push most rational adults to the brink of insanity, without adding the idea of toxic parenting to the mix. But even though it feels like we already have too much to manage, it’s essential that we model positive and appropriate behavior for our children.
When we became parents, we didn’t receive an instruction manual or an explanation of what to expect with each kid. Every child, even within the same home, may need different things from different parents, and this can be difficult to navigate.
These are five signs that you are crossing boundaries into emotionally toxic territory and some solutions to turn things around.
[Free Parent Resource: ADHD Discipline Strategies]
1. They fill the role of an adult.As our children grow older and gain maturity, we give them additional responsibilities in the family. But are we piling on too much too soon?
Example: You ask your seven-year-old to keep an eye on your five-year-old after school until you are home at 5:30pm. Or, you let your child stay up late on a school night to listen to you complain about your boyfriend.
What to do: First, assess how you were parented. Were you expected to take on tasks that were beyond the scope of your age at the time? If so, you don’t have to emulate what you experienced. When you realize where your parenting patterns come from, choose a practical place to make a change.
When it’s age-appropriate, a child may be trusted with babysitting a younger sibling, but that maturity doesn’t happen by age eight. Children shouldn’t be expected to be a caregiver or housekeeper, outside of their daily chores. Seek out an after-school program suitable for your kids and your budget.
Additionally, your children shouldn’t be expected to listen to conversations about inappropriate adult topics, like your financial hardships, or relationship woes. Children aren’t your shoulder to cry on—that role should be filled by a trusted adult friend.
Asking kids to take on more than they are able to handle emotionally or physically is toxic parenting. Making small changes as you go will improve your relationship with your children and ease the transition for you.
2. You make them feel guilty.We teach our children to be kind to others and to do unto others as you would have done unto you. The Golden Rule, right? But when we do things for our kids, are we expecting something in return? Are we making them feel guilty about actions or situations beyond their control?
Example: Your teenage son wants to go to the football game on Friday night, but you are lonely because your long-time relationship went south a few weeks ago. You tell him he can go, but that if he needs you, you’ll just be at home by yourself waiting until he gets there.
What to do: First, apologize. If your children are old enough to understand that you’ve made a habit of doing things like this with them, own it and say you are sorry. Trust me. It will go a long way—as long as you change your behavior going forward. Then, make sure you slow your brain and think before you speak when similar situations arise in the future.
3. You mock them in public.It makes me cringe when I see this happen.
Example: Tommy has been acting out all morning at your parents’ house on Thanksgiving. He has finally had it and throws an all-out temper tantrum on the kitchen floor, screaming that he is so mad. You respond by getting down near his face and saying in a high-pitched mocking tone, “I’m so mad! I’m so mad! Does that really help you here, Tommy!?”
What to do: It is one thing to be at the brink, and it is another to jump off willingly. I have been there—in the trenches, hour three of a complete disaster of a day with my extreme child. I know that all-bets-are-off feeling that creeps up when you’ve been hit and screamed at, called names, and had things thrown at you. But it is not OK to make fun of our kids ever and it is downright embarrassing and damaging to do it in front of others.
Kids, at any age, understand this is inappropriate behavior because we ask them not to speak like this to their friends when they are tots on the playground. First we must apologize. We need to explain that our behavior wasn’t appropriate, and we were just exhausted and angry. Even parents make mistakes.
Then, we need to enlist a trusted friend, spouse, family member, or someone who can “tag in” when we find ourselves approaching that breaking point. They can help you find a quiet place when you need to regulate your emotions before you say or do something from which it might be difficult to recover.
4. You ask them to keep secrets.Our children are not our friends. I don’t know how much more plainly I can say it. No matter how much we love our kids or how young we had them, until you are both mature adults, you cannot maintain a healthy friendship with your children. It will be mentally damaging for one or both parties.
Example: You tell your child about a shopping trip when you spent too much money, and then ask him to keep it from his dad.
What to do: We can be confidants to our kids and provide a safe space for them to tell their secrets and share their stories, but that road is one-way.
If you have already confided in your children as if they are your adult friends, approach them and let them know that you recognize that they may be mature enough to handle the information you told them, but it wasn’t right of you to ask them to keep something a secret. No matter how much they may want you to tell them secrets, they don’t need to hear the ones rated PG-13 or beyond.
5. You don’t maintain age-appropriate boundaries.In our society of smart phones, social media, and instant gratification, it is difficult not to see our teens, or our middle school children, as mini adults. But remember, parents, they aren’t. Their brains are still developing, and they can’t make mature decisions yet. I mean, remember when you were 10? Yeah, I’ll let that thought marinate for a while.
Example: Your 12-year-old wants to stay up and play video games on the Internet. You want to sleep, so you allow it—even though you haven’t set the parental controls on his new gaming system yet. That 12-year-old can now view just about anything while having conversations with other people online who are playing the same game. The scary part? Most of them aren’t likely to be 12.
What to do: It is important for us to acknowledge when we overstep a boundary, fail to set an appropriate boundary, or just make a mistake with our kids. An honest apology goes a long way toward making your child, regardless of age, feel like he or she is important to you.
If you have questions about what is age appropriate, ask your friends, your pediatrician, or an online forum. Think about whether or not you feel comfortable with what your child is doing. You are the parent.
Everything is born out of love—either from the presence or the lack of it. Maybe you were raised in an abusive, neglectful, or codependent household so you are parenting the only way you’ve ever known. We can be a product of our environment, but we do not have to be.
Consider these insights into toxic parenting and evaluate yourself honestly. Are there things you could be doing better? Do you owe your children an apology? Humbling ourselves in font of our children can be one of the most powerful acts we ever model for them. It is never too late to make a change.
November 30, 2018
People often comment on the wonderful feeling they get when they visit our school. They exclaim, “This school feels so good,” or, “There is such a different vibe on your campus.” I usually smile and nod knowingly, agreeing with them that our school is a very special place. Recently a visitor was struck by the same thought but wanted to know more about why it feels the way it does. The answer is easy: we model, teach and practice compassion.
Nowadays, no one would argue about the importance and value of social-emotional learning being taught in schools. From parenting blogs to education publications, SEL is supported by mounting research and is widely encouraged. However, many still consider these skills soft, and I beg to differ. Teaching skills and creating a school climate where students feel safe to take academic risks and feel valued and connected to their community as well as empowered and encouraged to take positive action to help others is anything but soft. Compassion is a measure of strength.
But what does this look like in practice? We like to say, “Empathy plus action equals compassion!” Our compassion education efforts begin the moment students arrive to school and continue throughout the school day. For example, before students cross the threshold of the classroom, teachers greet them by name to help connect with them and get instant feedback on how they are feeling. We call this practice Every Student, Every Day. It captures our purpose.
We use literature in an intentional manner to help students embrace diversity and understand varying perspectives. This develops their empathy bank. Teachers facilitate class circles to build community, which in turn becomes a space for students to practice compassion. First by listening to their classmates’ dilemmas and challenges, and then by collaboratively brainstorming solutions.
Another classroom tool we use is The Compassion Project, a free curriculum offered by EverFi. Teachers and students from our school participated in the development of this coursework. The curriculum helps foster meaningful, face-to-face classroom conversations.
As you embed SEL into the fabric of instruction, you will see a ripple effect on your school climate; it will affect the way students, staff and parents connect and contribute on campus. Better yet, these positive effects will continue to grow and multiply over time, resulting in a strong school community.
A quick word of caution for school leaders: SEL is not an extracurricular activity; it is not “the icing on the cake.” Creating an environment where students can thrive socially and academically means prioritizing SEL -- integrating it across all content areas and building it into the routines of every day. SEL must be the solid foundation on which the “cake” is built.
As a school principal, I am seeing the results of prioritizing and embedding these skills throughout our students’ elementary school experience. I see a noticeable increase in student confidence, voice and ownership, to name a few. Compassion is not age-dependent and with practice it is accessible to all, which makes elementary school the perfect time to begin this journey. The most exciting observation is that many students are beginning to see themselves as part of the solution, rather than bystanders to the world’s problems and the suffering of others.
Our work as educators has important implications for our students’ well-being and future. When students feel safe, valued and empowered at school, they will not only excel academically and socially, but also grow into capable and confident adults who will share their voices, take action and serve others. I often imagine our students growing up and applying these skills. Then I think about how much happier, connected and helpful our world will be as a result. People would never wonder why it feels so good, because they would already know the answer. Compassion.
Kristen Gracia is the principal at Oak Knoll Elementary in Menlo Park, Calif.
Chronic stress at school can make kids (particularly those with ADHD or LD) dread going — and change their brains for the worse. But parents and teachers can help alleviate the stress that is stopping these bright kids from succeeding.
BY JEROME SCHULTZ, PH.D.
For over 35 years, I’ve carried out comprehensive neuropsychological evaluations of kids and young adults, seeking to confirm, clarify, or rule out a diagnosis of ADHD. I’ve focused on the relationship between attention and the learning disabilities that often go along with ADHD. My role as a diagnostician has been to identify a pattern of neurocognitive weaknesses and strengths, so that I can help my clients and their parents better understand how they learn best.
An important part of the neuropsychological evaluation is to teach students what they can do to overcome or work around impediments to efficient learning and manage stress at school. This process is helpful, but it often falls short of my goal of helping a client change his or her learning trajectory. Many times, after I used test results to explain a client’s learning profile or convince a student that he or she had the cognitive capability to do well in school, I heard, “If I’m so smart, why do I feel dumb all the time?”
I felt compelled to find an answer to this question, and set out to do that.
The Missing Piece of the Puzzle
If you’re the kind of parent I’ve come to know, understand, and respect over the years—the parent of a child with ADHD or LD—you’ve probably heard the following words from your child:
“I hate school! I don’t want to go. You can’t make me go!” “I hate my teachers, the kids are mean to me, everything we do is stupid!” “They try to teach us stuff I’ll never need. It’s so boring!”
Getting your kid off to school in the morning can be traumatic for the family. Cajoling, soothing talk, and bribery aren’t always enough to get your kid into the car or on the bus. How many times have you given up and said, “OK, you can stay home, but this is a one-time deal!” Then the tears dry up (yours and your child’s), the mood gets calm, and things seem back in balance. But you know the problem has not been solved. Your spouse shakes his head as he leaves for work, and you feel like you’ve failed again. Your kid seems relieved, but you sense that she feels like a failure, too.
If you haven’t figured out why this happens over and over again (even though your child is a bright kid who acts like an angel as long as she’s not asked to do anything related to school), I have the answer. I’ve come to believe that stress is a key factor in solving the ADHD/LD puzzle. I believe that a better understanding of stress among parents, teachers, and learners is the key to unlocking academic potential. Such understanding will lead to a more satisfying, productive life.
It’s a sad fact that many students with LD or ADHD have more failures than successful moments in school, and this affects their attitude toward learning and their behavior. A student with impediments to learning needs a developmentally appropriate level of knowledge about his own cognitive profile. Without it, he is likely to attribute his lack of success to a lack of ability or intelligence.
Repeated bouts of fear, frustration, and failure in school create stress that builds up over time. This state of mind is actually neurologically damaging. It impairs brain function by fouling up the brain’s chemistry and even shrinking critically important neural brain tissue, making problems with learning and attention worse.
Chronic stress decreases memory and cognitive flexibility, as it increases anxiety and vigilance. This ratchets up a student’s alert level and gives rise to a protective defensiveness. As a result, too much energy is put into escaping the threat by avoidance, resistance, or negativity (see “Stress Tests”).
When teachers, administrators, and parents misread this behavior as willful or oppositional—not the defensive, protective stance of a student trying to avoid looking inadequate—they compound the problem by casting the student as a bad kid. Most students would rather be thought of as a “troublemaker” or a “class clown” than as stupid, and many, therefore, live up to their reputations.
We are equipped with the ability to perceive threatening events in our environment (stressors), and to respond in ways that keep us safe. A saber-tooth tiger at the mouth of the cave meant trouble for our ancestors. Their senses were so sharp that they knew the beast was there even before the firelight revealed its menacing eyes or large teeth. This early-warning system helped them stave off or escape from danger. We are equipped with the same protective mechanisms that kept our ancestors alive and allowed us to develop as a species. Faced with real or perceived fear, we respond by fighting or fleeing. This is not a conscious choice; under stress, the so-called fear centers deep within our brain (most notably the amygdala) go on high alert.
When the fear centers of the brain are activated, the area of the cortex in the front part of the brain, called the prefrontal cortex, is de-activated. The prefrontal cortex, along with the basal ganglia and the thalamus, controls the executive functions (organizing, planning, and executing tasks efficiently) that are critical to learning. In kids who are already at risk for academic difficulty because of ADHD, the secondary impact of stress puts them in a tailspin. Just when they need this important part of the brain, it shuts down. When stress goes up, cognitive ability goes down. In fact, research shows that chronic stress is associated with a larger amygdala and a decrease in the size of the cerebral cortex, suggesting that repeated, highly negative experiences actually re-form the architecture of our brain.
The mental relationship a child has with a challenging task in great part determines how he or she deals with what comes his or her way. When kids believe that they have little control over a task, and they are about to look ignorant or incompetent (yet again), this triggers the stress response. When a kid’s brain is sending the message that “This is too difficult! There’s no way I can do this!” the task becomes their saber-tooth tiger. Fear centers go on high alert, and the thinking part of the brain shuts down in the service of survival. It’s a circular, self-perpetuating cycle of fear, avoidance, and escape.
In my book Nowhere to Hide: Why Kids with ADHD & LD Hate School and What We Can Do About It, I use the term “saving F.A.S.E.” to explain this phenomenon. Thousands of kids around the world are caught up in this cycle of defeat. Hundreds of teachers are reacting in absolutely the wrong way and making the problem worse. Only when children and adults understand this, and know how to break the cycle, will things get better.
The impact of stress on the brain is not all bad. Tolerable stress helps the brain grow and can inoculate a child from the negative impact of stress in the future. The key is to interpret the cause of stress so that it can be managed effectively. This means using stress as the fuel for success and not letting it turn inward to erode confidence and competence.
Neuroscientist and Nobel laureate Eric Kandel, M.D., explained that just as fear, distress, and anxiety change the brain to generate sequences of destructive behaviors, the right interventions turn the cycle around. That’s what my DE-STRESS model aims to accomplish.
It includes the following steps:
> Define the condition. Make sure that the adults involved in the child’s life understand and agree on the cause of the challenges. If there are “dueling diagnoses,” valuable energy is wasted on disagreements, legal challenges, and “doc-shopping” to resolve differences of opinion. The adults need to come to some consensus about the child’s condition. A plan built on guesses or misinformation is destined to fail.
> Educate. Informed adults (parents, psychologists, teachers) need to educate the child about the nature of his/her challenges. Only an informed child can be a self-advocate.
> Speculate. Think about how the child’s strengths and assets, as well as his challenges, will impact his prospects going forward. Think ahead: What’s going to get in the way of success and what should be done to minimize disappointments and derailments?
> Teach. Educate the child about how to use strategies that will address his specific needs and maximize his success. Give the student the tools he needs to take this bull by the horns and wrestle it to the ground.
>Reduce the risk. Create learning environments that focus on success and that minimize the risk of failure (small classes, individualized attention and support, providing time and space to reinforce learning, decreasing distractions).
> Exercise. There is scientific evidence that physical activity reduces stress. Make sure that the student is engaged in a regular program of physical activity. Collect evidence that shows that exercise enhances mood and learning.
> Success. Replace doubt with confidence by creating a learning environment that allows the student to experience success more often than failure. Make sure that fear, frustration, and failure are overshadowed by successes. Show the child that confidence and control are by-products of being competent. Help the child internalize a mantra: “Control through competence.”
> Strategize. Use what you and your child have learned about achieving success in order to plan ahead. Find opportunities to confirm that confidence and a stress-reducing sense of control come naturally from feeling competent. Teachers and parents should make learning from errors part of the plan, and help the child move from strength to strength.
Unless students have the opportunity to learn skills that allow them to bypass or overcome learning weaknesses, they are likely to exhibit the fight-or-flight response. Fortunately, the changes in neuronal circuitry associated with chronic stress are reversible in a healthy, resilient brain. Appropriate interventions like the ones mentioned above are simple, cost no money, and can result in re-setting the brain to a healthy state. Looking at stress through this lens will lead to better learning, enhanced self-esteem, and improved behavior.
The ADHD/LD label is not as disabling as one’s view of the label’s meaning.
Students who know they have a learning disability but who identify with the negative aspects of that label experience what researchers Claude M. Steele, Ph.D., and Joshua Aronson, Ph.D., call “stereotype threat.” Kids worry constantly that they will do something to confirm the stereotype that students with ADHD/LD are less competent than other kids.
Gabrielle Rappolt-Schlichtmann, Ed.D., and Samantha Daley, Ed.D., M.Ed., at the Center for Applied Special Technology, in Wakefield, Massachusetts, are currently working on projects funded by the National Science Foundation to better understand stigma and stereotype threat in the classroom. They have found that when students in a research project have to identify as having a learning disability before starting an academic task, they perform more poorly than a similar group of students who are not asked if they have a learning disability. Some take this as evidence that it is the label itself that is disabling, and make a case for not using it.
I believe that when a student does not understand his or her condition (in other words, his or her label), this can lead to a self-assigned label: “I have ADHD. I can’t focus well enough to do math. I’m stupid.” This is more disabling than the terms ADHD or LD.
My work in schools supports my view that stereotype threat, and the stress it causes, can be countered with positive self-attributions related to the disability label. Having had the opportunity to visit hundreds of programs for kids with ADHD/LD across the U.S., I have seen that those schools and teachers that give self-awareness and self-advocacy training, coupled with specialized approaches that lead to helping the student master academics, have found an antidote to stereotype threat that can be a central feature of the ADHD/LD profile.
These behaviors are good indicators that your child may be under stress at school:
> Refusal to do the work (passive or aggressive negativity)
> Devaluation of the task (“This is so stupid”)
> Acting up or acting out to direct attention away from the challenging task
> Acting “in” or becoming sad and withdrawn
> Exhibiting signs of anxiety (sweaty palms, tremors, headaches, difficulty breathing)
> Becoming engrossed in a task in which he is successful or one that’s fun (refusing to stop writing a story or doing a drawing, turn off a video game, or to take off a headset and stop listening to his favorite music)
> Efforts to encourage (“I know you can do this”) are met with more resistance
> Asking an adult to stay close and help with every problem (over-dependence)
Being a member of the IEP team requires confidence, collaboration and a commitment to your child.
Here are five important ways to advocate for your child during an IEP meeting:
Personalize for your child.
No one on the IEP team knows your child the way you do. The other team members may be experts about education, but you’re an expert about your child. Share your perspective on your child’s personality, interests, struggles and success. Cast a wide net. Describe how he behaves when doing homework, playing on sports teams and doing other activities outside of school. This will give the school insights into your child’s abilities and interests. It also will remind the team to tailor his IEP to him as an individual.
Keep an open mind.
Everyone on the IEP team brings something to the table. You bring key insights and information about your child. Other team members offer experience and understanding of your child’s needs and strengths at school. If someone brings up an issue or solution you’re not sure of, hear them out. Sometimes issues may come up in school that don’t appear at home. After all, school is a different environment, with different rules and expectations. By working together, you can more fully discuss and address your child’s needs.
Ask questions and seek clarification.
Special education laws and programs are complex. Even if you’re well prepared, you may hear new terms and references during an IEP meeting. When this happens, ask for explanations. You have a right to understand every detail and decision. You may want to ask in advance for notes to be taken during the meeting. Then ask for a copy of the notes at the end of the meeting.
Focus on the outcome, not the process.
Be aware of the goals you have for your child, and make sure the team understands your expectations. You can work together to create a plan to help your child achieve those goals. Together the team can figure out the best resources and effective instructional approaches. Be sure to ask questions about what the team proposes and even suggest changes.
Advocate for your rights and those of your child.
Don’t allow others to gloss over IEP details that involve your rights. For instance, if you’re told that the district won’t cover certain services, ask to see the section of the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act(IDEA) that supports that. If you’re unsure about the IEP drafted in the meeting, don’t feel pressured into signing it. (Signing the attendance page doesn’t mean you agree with the IEP; it simply means you attended.) Exercise your right to take the IEP draft home and think it over. Be polite but firm. Ideally the other team members will respect you for standing your ground.
The Individual’s with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) states, “(1) the parents of a child with a disability must be afforded an opportunity to participate in (IEP) meetings with respect to (i) the identification, evaluation, and educational placement of the child; and (ii) the provision of FAPE (Free Appropriate Public Education) to the child.”
• Assisting their child’s learning;
• Being actively involved in their child’s education at school;
• Serving as full partners in their child’s education and being included, as appropriate, in decision-making and on advisory committees to assist in the education of their child.
Below is a list of ten reasons why parent involvement in an IEP is crucial:
1. Research has proven that parent involvement in education is a predictor of a child’s academic success;
2. Good communication between parent and school will alert you to whether any changes such as new goals need to be added to the IEP;
3. Respect between school and parents will help negotiations run smoother;
4. Keeping track of your child’s ability to complete class work and homework will alert you to whether your child is accessing the curriculum;
5. Making sure your child is in the proper placement will help your child access the curriculum;
6. Addressing academic discrepancies early will allow your child to catch up in the future;
7. Working on goals in both the School and Home environment consistently will help your child achieve better success;
8. Keeping track of your child’s services will let you know whether the school is out compliance;
9. Parents and Teachers share the same goal of preparing your child for independent living, postsecondary education and employment; and
10. Your child’s future is at stake.
Remember, parent involvement does not mean the teacher should do everything your way or vice-versa. The goal is to create a partnership with the teacher where everyone's opinion counts so that your child can receive a Free Appropriate Public Education (FAPE). When a Parent or Teacher feel they have all the answers they have most likely lost sight of the question. And the question should always be how do we educate the child to prepare them for life.
What Do Advocates Do?
Advocates gather facts and information. As they gather information and organize documents, they learn about the child’s disability and educational history. Advocates use facts and independent documentation to resolve disagreements and disputes with the school.
Know the rules of the Game
Advocates know that a child with a disability is entitled to an “appropriate” education, not the “best” education, nor an education that “maximizes the child’s potential.”
Advocates know the procedures that parents must follow to protect their rights and the child’s rights.
Plan and Prepare
Advocates know that planning prevents problems. Advocates do not expect school personnel to tell them about rights and responsibilities. Advocates read special education laws, regulations, and cases to get answers to their questions.
Advocates learn how to use test scores to monitor a child’s progress in special education.
They prepare for meetings, create agendas, write objectives, and use meeting worksheets and follow-up letters to clarify problems and nail down agreements.
Keep Written Records
Because documents are often the keys to success, advocates keep written records. They know that if a statement is not written down, it was not said. They make requests in writing and write polite follow-up letters to document events, discussions, and meetings.
Ask Questions, Listen to Answers
Advocates are not afraid to ask questions. When they ask questions, they listen carefully to answers.
Advocates learn to define and describe problems from all angles. They use their knowledge of interests, fears, and positions to develop strategies. Advocates are problem solvers. They do not waste valuable time and energy looking for people to blame.
Advocates know that parents negotiate with schools for special education services. As negotiators, advocates discuss issues and make offers or proposals. They seek “win-win” solutions that will satisfy the interests of parents and schools.
Welcome to Holland
BY EMILY PERL KINGSLEY
I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability – to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel.
It’s like this…
When you’re going to have a baby, it’s like planning a fabulous vacation trip – to Italy. You buy a bunch of guidebooks and make wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It’s all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go.
Several hours later, the plane lands.
The stewardess comes in and says, “Welcome to Holland.” “Holland?!?” you say. “What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I’m supposed to be in Italy. All my life I’ve dreamed of going to Italy.”
But there’s been a change in the flight plan.
They’ve landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is they haven’t taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place full of pestilence, famine and disease. It’s just a different place. So you must go out and buy new guidebooks. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you never would have met. It’s just a different place. It’s slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy.
But after you’ve been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around…and you begin to notice Holland has windmills…and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy…and they’re all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there.
And for the rest of your life, you will say, “Yes, that’s where I was supposed to go. That’s what I had planned.”
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away…because the loss of that dream is a very, very significant loss.
But…if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn’t get to go to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things…about Holland.
©1987 BY EMILY PERL KINGSLEY.
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
Longtime Sesame Street writer Emily Perl Kingsley has been advocating for people with disabilities since 1974, when her son, Jason (co-author of Count Us In: Growing Up With Down Syndrome), was born with Down syndrome. In 1987, she wrote Welcome To Holland, which has remained a source of comfort and inspiration ever since.